Halloween Safety Tips

Halloween Safety Tips for Kids!

Courtesy of Martial Arts for Life of New Providence, NJ

1. Plan costumes that are bright and reflective. Make sure that shoes fit well and that cosumes are short enough to prevent tripping  or entanglement.

2. Consider adding reflective tape or striping to costumes and Trick-or-Treat bags for greater visibility.

3. Because masks can limit or block eyesight, consider non-toxic makeup and decorative hats as safer alternatives. Hats should fit properly to prevent them from sliding over eyes.

4. Avoid candy that has loose wrappings, is unwrapped, has puncture holes, or is homemade.

5. Stay on the sidewalks and out of the streets. Cross only at intersections and designated crosswalks.

6. A parent or responsible adult should always accompany young children on their neighborhood rounds. If your older children are going alone, plan and review the route that is acceptable to you. Agree on a specific time when they should return home.

7.  Remain on well-lit streets and always use the sidewalk. If no sidewalk is available, walk at the far edge of the roadway facing traffic.

8. Don’t assume the right of way. Motorists may have trouble seeing Trick-or-Treaters. Just because one car stops, doesn’t mean others will!

9. Plan a route and stick to it. Trick or treat only at houses that are well-lit.

10. Don’t eat any treats until a responsible adult has inspected them.

Tips complied by American Academy of Pediatrics, Halloween Web, & CSPC.

Martial Arts for Life

Making our community safer, one family at a time.

The Village Shopping Center, 1260 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974

Proud to offer Martial Arts, Family Safety Strategies, Personal Improvement and Nutritional guidance to individuals and families in New Providence NJ, Berkeley Heights NJ, Chatham NJ, Stirling NJ, Gillette NJ, Summit NJ, Springfield NJ, Union County NJ, Morris County NJ and all surrounding areas.

P.S. Visit our website at http://www.BeginKarate.com to learn more about our Academy and our programs.

Martial Arts for Life

Back To School Safety Tips

When parents talk about school safety these days, they’re usually referring to the surge in violence at schools. But research shows that school-age children are actually nine times more likely to sustain an unintentional injury – whether on the playground or in school – than to be the victim of violence while at school. In fact, an estimated 2.2 million children ages 14 and under are injured in school-related accidents each year, according to the National SAFE KIDS Campign.

Accidents can be prevented if parents are on the lookout for potential hazards. To help you keep your kids free from harm, here are some safety tips from SAFE KIDS, the Consumer Product Safety Commission, and the American Academy of Pediatrics.

1. Plan a walking route to school or the bus stop. Choose the most direct way with the fewest street crossings and, if possible, with intersections that have crossing guards.

2. Walk the route with your child beforehand. Tell him or her to stay away from parks, vacant lots, fields and other places where there aren’t many people around.

3. Teach your children never to talk to strangers or accept rides of gifts from strangers. Remember, a stranger is anyone you or your children don’t know well or don’t trust.

4. Be sure your child walks to and from school with a sibling, friend, or neighbor.

5. Teach your kids – whether walking, biking, or riding the bus to school – to obey all traffic signals, signs and traffic officers. Remind them to be extra careful in bad weather.

6. When driving kids, deliver and pick them up as close to the school as possible. Don’t leave until they are in the schoolyard or building.

7. If your child bikes to school, make sure he wears a helmet that meets one of the safety standards (U.S. CPSC, Snell, ANSI, ASTM or Canadian). Research indicates that a helmet can reduce the risk of head injury by up to 85 percent.

8. Teach children to arrive at the bus stop early, stay out of the street, wait for the bus to come to a complete stop before approaching the street, watch for cars and avoid the driver’s blind spot.

9. Tell your child not to bend down in front of the bus to tie shoes or pick up objects, as the driver may not see him before starting to move.

10. Be sure that your child knows his or her home phone number and address, your work number, the number of another trusted adult and how to call 911 for emergencies. Knowing location and type of emergency is extremely important when dialing 911 from a cell phone.

Martial Arts for Life

Making our community safer, one family at a time.

The Village Shopping Center, 1260 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974

Proud to offer Martial Arts, Family Safety Strategies, Personal Improvement and Nutritional guidance to individuals and families in New Providence NJ, Berkeley Heights NJ, Chatham NJ, Stirling NJ, Gillette NJ, Summit NJ, Springfield NJ, Union County NJ, Morris County NJ and all surrounding areas.

P.S. Visit our website at http://www.BeginKarate.com to learn more about our Academy and our programs.

Martial Arts for Life

Family Personal Protection

Family Personal Protection – Home Invasion

By J.Sgarlat

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

- Americans are twice as likely to be assaulted, robbed at gun point or abducted as they are to be seriously injured in a car accident.

- 52% of all burglaries occur during daylight hours, 67% involve forcible entry and 2 out of 3 are residential.

– Our training in advance and our value and belief systems will be critical to our survival in an assault. Scenario training with your family, particularly for women and children, will likely mean the difference between survival and disaster.

PERSONAL PROTECTION AT YOUR HOME

Is your family prepared for a home invasion?

Consider home invasion from the criminal’s perspective – easy approach and access, limited or no security, privacy from view and traffic, multiple entrances and escape routes, untrained defenders in most cases and, valuables are typically in plain sight.

Home invasions are accomplished as an ambush, typically with two or more assailants.

Your response time in a home invasion is typically less than five seconds.

Consider the entrance, approach and access to your home from the criminal’s perspective. What is your daily routine? Can a criminal plan around it? Can you be observed approaching or entering your home at the same time most days? Plan in advance scenarios that would cause you to not enter your home if something looks suspicious. Stick to your rules.

Never answer the door to someone you have not called to your home. Never allow children to answer the door without you present. Consider lures that would cause you to open your door – uniformed police, delivery uniform, sounds of a baby crying. Don’t be lured into opening your door under any circumstance.

Develop a prearranged plan with your family for response to a break-in. Consider contingency plan for different break-in scenarios (night, day, people in different areas of the home, multiple intruders). Under no circumstances should you conduct a search for an intruder. Even for a trained professional, searching for a potentially armed intruder entails great risk. Charge your cell phone in your safe room each night. Keep spare keys and a police style flashlight or firearm/ammo in your safe room.

Teach This to Every Person in Your Family 911 Call Info – full name, address or cross streets where you are, why you need help, leave phone connected.

Information sources – FBI Uniform Crime Reports, U.S. Department of Justice, National Center For Lost and Exploited Children, John Hopkins University, NRA Eddie Eagle Program, Warrior Personal Safety Training Systems and the U.S. Department of Health.

Martial Arts for Life

Making our community safer, one family at a time.

The Village Shopping Center, 1260 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974

Proud to offer Martial Arts, Family Safety Strategies, Personal Improvement and Nutritional guidance to individuals and families in New Providence NJ, Berkeley Heights NJ, Chatham NJ, Stirling NJ, Gillette NJ, Summit NJ, Springfield NJ, Union County NJ, Morris County NJ and all surrounding areas.

P.S. Visit our website at http://www.BeginKarate.com to learn more about our Academy and our programs.

Martial Arts for Life

5 Strategies for Dealing with Bullying

Five Strategies for Dealing with Bullying

By Rich Brugger

The National Education Association estimates that 160,000 kids miss school every day out of fear of attack or intimidation by other students. I’d like to share some strategies to help our local youngsters effectively and non-violently deal with bullying.

One approach for dealing with bullies is to use awareness to avoid tormenters on the playground, in the lunch room, in the hallways, and in the bathroom. By avoiding direct confrontation with bullies, youngsters can prevent the common verbal and physical attacks that occur.

Unfortunately, in most cases avoiding the bully is not a long term solution to the problem. Therefore, the best solution is to teach your child to be prepared to deal with bullying. Below are five strategies for dealing with bullies.

Strategy #1 Be assertive. Teach your child to stand tall and use a confident voice to address the bully. Your child should specify the bullying behavior and tell the antagonist to stop. For example, “Stop making fun of me!”

Strategy #2 Agree with the bully. Help your child to create a statement agreeing with his teaser. Bully: “You’re short.” Child: “You’re right, I am.” Along the same lines it is helpful to have a series of rehearsed comebacks such as, “So?”; “Really?”; or “Thanks for letting me know.”

Strategy #3 Ignore the teasing. The general goal of bullies is to upset their victims. Bullies will often move on to another target if they don’t get the response they are looking for. Work with your youngster to develop ways to ignore the teasing or get out of the situation. Some tactics to try include:  pretend the bully is invisible or fail to acknowledge the teaser and just walk away.

Strategy #4 Use questions. You can teach your child to respond to an insult with a non-defensive question such as, “Why would you say that?” or “Why would you want to tell me I am fat and hurt my feelings?”

Strategy #5 Act confident. Teach your youngster to carry his/herself with confidence. Bullies choose their victims based on an appearance of weakness, so teach your child to stand up straight and look people in the eye. More importantly, teach them to act confidently even when they feel nervous or intimidated.

In the case that none of the above strategies are effective or the bullying becomes physical, children should be taught how take a protective stance and say, “I don’t want to fight you, but I will if I have to. PLEASE leave me alone!” This is a very visible stance that communicates to the bully that this behavior is unacceptable and to school staff that something is happening.

Recent studies have shown that the emotional and physical consequences of being a victim of bullying are extensive and can be severe. You can take steps to break the cycle now and guarantee that your child will be bullied no more.

Rich Brugger owns and operates Martial Arts for Life in New Providence with his wife Michelle. He is a field agent with the NSA’s Kid-Safe Network, a proactive, non-profit organization dedicated to child safety. Mr. Brugger is available for free anti-abduction training, women’s personal protection seminars, and anti-bullying education for local schools and community groups. For more information visit www.BeginKarate.com or call (908) 464-2836.

Martial Arts for Life

Making our community safer, one family at a time.

The Village Shopping Center, 1260 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974

Proud to offer Martial Arts, Family Safety Strategies, Personal Improvement and Nutritional guidance to individuals and families in New Providence NJ, Berkeley Heights NJ, Chatham NJ, Stirling NJ, Gillette NJ, Summit NJ, Springfield NJ, Union County NJ, Morris County NJ and all surrounding areas.

P.S. Visit our website at http://www.BeginKarate.com to learn more about our Academy and our programs.

Martial Arts for Life

Back to School Success Tips!

Back to School Success Tips for Kids

ESTABLISH A MORNING ROUTINE- Make sure that you are getting enough rest and starting EVERY morning with a healthy breakfast. Like a car, your body needs the proper fuel to perform at PEAK levels.

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING- An open mind is a learning mind. Come to school each day ready to focus, work hard and have FUN!

GREAT HOMEWORK HABITS- Have a set time that you always do homework, such as right after school. Make sure you have a quiet place away from distractions to do it. Don’t rush, and remember to ALWAYS hand it in.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY- Teachers are smart, but they can’t read minds. Great relationships come from great communication. Ask questions and share concerns!

SHARE AT HOME-One of the best ways to learn is to teach. Try to teach your parents something you’ve learned in school each day. It will help you and maybe your parents will learn something new!

SUPPORT THE SCHOOL RULES- School rules may not always be the most fun, but they are there to make sure everyone is safe and gets the most out of their day.

SUPERSTAR STUDY HABITS- School is like your favorite sport. Proper practice and preparation promotes PEAK performance. To become a superstar, prepare like one.

GUARD YOUR INNER CIRCLE- Surround yourself with the right people. Who you surround yourself with….you become! Having friends that are positive and achievement-oriented like you will keep you on the fast track to success!

Martial Arts for Life

Making our community safer, one family at a time.

The Village Shopping Center, 1260 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974

Proud to offer Martial Arts, Family Safety Strategies, Personal Improvement and Nutritional guidance to individuals and families in New Providence NJ, Berkeley Heights NJ, Chatham NJ, Stirling NJ, Gillette NJ, Summit NJ, Springfield NJ, Union County NJ, Morris County NJ and all surrounding areas.

P.S. Visit our website at http://www.BeginKarate.com to learn more about our Academy and our programs.

Martial Arts for Life

Martial Arts for Life: 10 Point Success System

Many parents ask how are program is able to make such positive changes in their youngsters.  Here are some of the reasons we are able to change lives through Martial Arts training.

Introducing the “Martial Arts for Life – Ten Point Success System”

1.Positive Role Models: The biggest asset of our Academy? Easy. The teachers. What you will notice (and so will your child)…is that we care about each student individually. We are totally committed to helping your child reach his or her potential. We are life-long Martial Artists who have a great love of helping others benefit from Martial Arts.

2. Physical Fitness: It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you are out of shape physically…or when your athletic skills have not been fully developed. Our belief is that, regardless of how un-athletic somebody seems to be…there is an athlete inside all of us. When a student feels their physical skills skyrocket…it’s not long before their confidence and self-image will follow.

3. A High Energy, Exciting Environment: Many kids have grown accustomed to virtual activities (video games, television, internet). Participating in an exciting, high energy environment, focused on an actual activity, will give your child a very real sense of achievement!

4. Regular Incentives for Effort and Achievement: The belt system of Martial Arts, regular positive feedback and recognition of accomplishment, incentives for improvement, and our “Karate Success” program will systematically lead your child into the “Yes, I Can!” attitude you’ve always wanted for him or her.

5. The “Message of the Week”: Regular exposure to our “Message of the Week,” to systematic instruction, accompanied by exercises in the lessons of respect, discipline, focus, persistence, courage, discipline and confidence. (Most of our “Martial Arts for Life” parents name this as their favorite part of the program!)

6. A Proven System of Skill Development: No fancy theories or hard to understand concepts here. We are experts in teaching the actual SKILLS of listening and focus. Hint: We’ll be teaching these to your child in the very first week!

7. A Series of Positively Constructed Challenges that will build your child’s confidence. You will be delighted as you see your children confidently move outside their comfort zone. As the weeks go by, you will smile with pride as your son or daughter moves from challenge to challenge…their confidence soaring with each new accomplishment!

8. An Atmosphere of Respect: You will watch with satisfaction as your children learn to give respect and to earn respect. Most importantly, they learn the essential lesson of Self-Respect!

9. Order and Structure: Even though the atmosphere is friendly and supportive; Karate is not “play time” at our Academy. You will be delighted to see how your children develop focus and persistence in our orderly, structured environment.

10. A Friendship Based Environment:If you are expecting the old, harsh, authoritarian, military style Martial Arts training…you are going to be sadly disappointed. When you visit us, you will find a friendly, supportive environment. That atmosphere of friendship, support, and respect will give your child the support he or she needs to succeed!

Ultimately, we believe 100% in striving to provide the best possible Martial Arts and personal development program available anywhere. We are on a tireless crusade to improve our students, our program, and our facilities. We are grateful for the opportunity to guide our students down a path of progress, growth, and positive changes.

If you would like to learn more about our program or have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

Martial Arts for Life

Making our community safer, one family at a time.

The Village Shopping Center, 1260 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974

Proud to offer Martial Arts, Family Safety Strategies, Personal Improvement and Nutritional guidance to individuals and families in New Providence NJ, Berkeley Heights NJ, Chatham NJ, Stirling NJ, Gillette NJ, Summit NJ, Springfield NJ, Union County NJ, Morris County NJ and all surrounding areas.

P.S. Visit our website at http://www.BeginKarate.com to learn more about our Academy and our programs.

Martial Arts for Life

Summer Safety Tips for Kids

Here are 12 summer safety tips to review with your youngsters courtesy of Martial Arts for Life in New Providence, NJ.

1. Always CHECK FIRST with your parents or the person in charge before you go anywhere or do anything. Be sure to CHECK IN regularly with your parents or a trusted adult when you’re not with them.

2. Always TAKE A FRIEND when you play or go somewhere. It’s safer and more fun.

3. Don’t be tricked by people who offer you special treats or gifts. Never accept anything from anyone without your parents’ permission.

4. Stay SAFE when you’re home alone by keeping the door locked; not opening the door for or talking to anyone who stops by unless the person is a trusted family friend or relative, you feel comfortable being alone with that person, and the visit has been pre-approved by your parents. Never tell anyone who calls that you’re home by yourself. Have a neighbor or trusted adult you can call if you’re scared or there’s an emergency.

5. Never go into a public restroom by yourself.

6. Never go alone to malls, movies, or parks. Take a friend with you, and always CHECK FIRST with your parents to make sure it’s okay.

7. Don’t panic if you feel lost. Identify the safest place to go or person to ask for help in reuniting you with your family. Never search for them on your own, and never go off alone with anyone who is trying to reunite you with your family.

8. Be careful when you play. Stay away from pools, lakes, and other bodies of water unless you are with an adult. Don’t play near busy streets or deserted areas, and never take shortcuts unless you have your parents’ permission.

9. Don’t wear clothes or carry items with your name on the outside, and don’t be confused just because someone you don’t know calls out your name.

10. Don’t get into a car or go near a car with someone in it unless you are with your parents or a trusted adult. Never take a ride from someone without CHECKING FIRST with your parents.

11. Be careful playing or riding your bicycle as it gets dark. Sometimes it is difficult for people driving cars to see you. Wear reflectors and protective clothing if your parents say you can play outside after dark.

12. Don’t be afraid to say NO and GET AWAY from any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or confused. TRUST YOUR FEELINGS, and be sure to TELL a trusted adult if something happens that makes you feel this way.

Martial Arts for Life

Making our community safer, one family at a time.

The Village Shopping Center, 1260 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974

Proud to offer Martial Arts, Family Safety Strategies, Personal Improvement and Nutritional guidance to individuals and families in New Providence NJ, Berkeley Heights NJ, Chatham NJ, Stirling NJ, Gillette NJ, Summit NJ, Springfield NJ, Union County NJ, Morris County NJ and all surrounding areas.

P.S. Visit our website at http://www.BeginKarate.com to learn more about our Academy and our programs.

Martial Arts for Life

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Karate World of New Providence is now Martial Arts for Life

We are extremely pleased to announce the evolution of the name of our Academy from “Karate World – Martial Arts for Life” to simply “Martial Arts for Life.” First and foremost, we want to let everyone know that this change affects the name of our Academy only. We are still family owned and operated by Master & Mrs. Brugger, we are still located in the Village Shopping Center in New Providence and we are still committed to being the number one family-oriented Martial Arts program in the New Providence NJ area.

We feel that this name best represents the philosophy and core values of our program.

So What is The Martial Arts for Life Philosophy?

For Children: Martial Arts for Life is about developing core values of strong character, self-discipline, self-control, respect, & courtesy in addition to the physical and mental skills inherent in Martial Arts training. The Martial Arts for Life philosophy addresses what we consider the 5 Greatest Dangers Facing Kids Today:

#1.) Poor Nutrition: Childhood obesity has more than tripled in the last 30 years.

#2.) Lack of Exercise: In a population based sample of 5 to 17 year olds, 70% of obese youth had at least one risk factor for cardiovascular disease.

#3.) Peer Pressure: Negative peer pressure can lead to experimentation with drugs and alcohol and other high-risk behaviors.

#4.) Bullying: Every 7 minutes a child is bullied.

#5.) Lack of Motivation: Many of today’s youngsters have the ability and the aptitude to succeed, but lack the motivation to do so.

We are also 100% committed to producing students who are LEADERS, not followers.

For Adults: Martial Arts for Life is about complimenting, not complicating one’s life. Our adult program addresses the number one reason adults become involved in a Martial Arts program: Fitness. We compliment our fitness based program with expert nutritional guidance and ongoing motivational messages and philosophy. In addition to providing a comprehensive fitness program, we provide a core program that includes elements of Boxing, American Kickboxing, & Muay Thai Kickboxing to help students realize their full potential and reach their goals. For students who are interested, we offer supplemental training in Grappling (principles of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu), Kali / Escrima, Thai Pad workouts, and much, much more.

Ultimately, our goal is for our Martial Arts program to help children, teens, adults, and families succeed on their Quest to Be Their Best!  That is what Martial Arts for Life is about. We look forward to continuing to serve the individuals and families in our local community.

Martial Arts for Life

The Village Shopping Center, 1260 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974

Proud to offer Martial Arts, Kickboxing, Personal Improvement and Nutritional guidance to individuals and families in New Providence NJ, Berkeley Heights NJ, Chatham NJ, Stirling NJ, Gillette NJ, Summit NJ, Springfield NJ, Union County NJ, Morris County NJ and all surrounding areas.

P.S. Visit our website at http://www.BeginKarate.com to learn more about our Academy and our programs.

Martial Arts for Life

The ABC’s of Conflict Avoidance

A = Avoid Potentially Dangerous Situations

The single most important step in conflict avoidance is knowing where NOT to be. The ability to recognize potentially dangerous situations is more than just common sense. It is a learned skill that should be practiced.

There are three types of people. The first person is absolutely convinced that there is someone hiding around the corner. This person is paranoid. The second person is absolutely convinced that there is no one around the corner. This person is naive. The third person thinks that there might be someone waiting around the corner, so they take the appropriate precautions. This person is a careful person. We want to you to become careful people.

Do not underestimate the value of the first step. If we can get you in the habits of being aware of your surroundings and always consciously being as careful as possible, you will be much less likely to be confronted violently.
Some potentially dangerous situations and ways to avoid them:
1. A single mother is going to the laundry room alone at night.
Solution: Go early in the morning instead and use the buddy system.

2. Driving in a strange town and getting lost.
Solution: Make sure you have an accurate map and ask for clear-cut directions or use a GPS device. Learn what parts of town are okay and what parts you should stay away from.

3. A group of kids wanting to play around a construction site.
Solution: Talk your friends into going to the park instead.

4. A child walking home on a street with lots of traffic.
Solution: Learn alternate routes that are less crowded.

B = Be Calm, Breathe

Most people tend to become emotional and react accordingly when confronted with an intimidating situation. They might act angry, afraid, or intimidated. Remember, logic and emotion are like oil and water; they don’t mix. When you react emotionally to a situation, you are almost always going to make a poor decision that will further provoke the situation.

In order to think clearly and logically in an intimidating situation, it is important to become calm. Believe it or not, the easiest to maintain a calm disposition is to talk slow, deep breaths, rather than the fast, shallow breaths that usually accompany an emotional outburst.

“He who loses control of his emotions gives his opponent a powerful ally.”

Helping to maintain a clam attitude allows you to respond, rather than react. When you can calmly respond to an intimidating situation, you have the best chance of discussing the situation peacefully, because you are appealing to the other person’s logic rather than emotion.

Visualize being in a threatening situation. Then try to take slow, deep breaths and remain as calm as possible. Remember, just knowing how to take deep breaths in threatening situations is not enough; it has to become second nature. The only way to make it second nature is practice. When confronted with an unavoidable situation, remaining calm is the key to responding to the situation instead of reacting to it. A simple deep breath is a powerful balm for calming the nervous system.

Also emphasize that the most dangerous emotions in a confrontation are fear and anger. Remember to put your shoulders back and tip their head up slightly to allow for deeper breaths.

 

C = Communicate With Confidence

Studies have shown us that most people who are the victims of violent crimes send out some sort of  “signal” saying that they are vulnerable. Their body language conveys the idea that they are weak and easily intimidated. Other studies involving people who are frequently involved with verbal or physical altercations show that these people send out signals of arrogance and disrespect.

The solution is simple. If you can learn to present yourself in a confident and respectful manner, you are less likely to attract trouble.

Let’s identify the signals an insecure person sends out. How do they carry themselves? Are their shoulders hunched forward? Do they look downward, afraid to make eye contact? Do they speak softly and walk as though they are not sure where they are going?

The next step is to identify the signals that Confident people send out. Remember what these signals are and how to make them their own. Remember, even if a person doesn’t feel confident, they can appear confident by acting it.

Five basic traits of a confident person:
Confident people always:
1. Look people in the eye, especially when first meeting someone.
2. Keep their shoulders back and chin up.
3. Walk with purpose, like they know where they are going.
4. Speak clearly and confidently (but not arrogantly).
5. Appear alert and aware of their surroundings.

Martial Arts for Life

The Village Shopping Center, 1260 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974

Proud to offer Martial Arts, Kickboxing, Personal Improvement and Nutritional guidance to individuals and families in New Providence NJ, Berkeley Heights NJ, Chatham NJ, Stirling NJ, Gillette NJ, Summit NJ, Springfield NJ, Union County NJ, Morris County NJ and all surrounding areas.

P.S. Visit our website at http://www.BeginKarate.com to learn more about our Academy and our programs.

Martial Arts for Life

 

Stick to Your 2011 Resolutions!

Avoid Words that Block Your Goals!

By Dr. R. Silverman

It’s easy to blame others for getting in the way of our success. But in 2011, how about we take responsibility of our goals and our outcomes? As we writing down our goals, check your language and your self talk. Are you the one saying “no” to your dreams and to yourself? Are you coming up with excuses of why you can’t succeed this year?

Looking in the mirror can be painful but when it comes to goal-setting and goal-getting it’s the only way to keep things real. Why aren’t you as successful as you believe you should be? Why does full success elude you? Perhaps you begin but don’t commit. Perhaps you try but get sidetracked. Perhaps you go through the motions but lack belief. Of course, it’s not enough to create the vision, we must initiate consistent action as well.

“The vision must be followed by venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps– we must step up the stairs.” –Vance Havner

Sometimes we don’t see the success of action as a two-sided coin—on the one hand we must initiate action, and on the other, we must remove barricades. Some are placed by others while others are placed by our own volition, even if not consciously intended.

Here  are the 7 words I revisit at the beginning of each year to ensure that I am fully invested in my own goals and am not quietly sabotaging them:

(1) No: Such a small word but like an ant, powerful for its size. It’s arguably one of the most powerful words in the English dictionary. Definitive by nature, it requires no other explanation for what it means. When planning and taking action on our goals, it’s the enemy of progress and the dasher of dreams. While we must say no to some things to say yes to others, saying no to our own dreams not only shuts out possibilities, it kills something within us.

(2) Can’t: This word is a mind-trick. “Can’t” is the little voice inside our heads that tells us what we are not able to do. It’s our own private Gremlin. Even if we’ve never tried it or attempted to do this thing this particular way before, “can’t” has already decided the outcome.  Tacking on a simple apostrophe and that one little letter “t” to the end takes this word from emphatic and positive to pathetic and negative. How can we make progress if we’ve already told ourselves it can’t be done?

(3) Won’t: Won’t is our inner child throwing the proverbial tantrum. “Won’t” is bratty and uppity, immature and insistent in getting its way. With folded arms, nose up in the air, and a smug look, “won’t” will easily cut off its nose to spite its face. Of course, in our own stubborn stupor, we deny ourselves the ability to achieve our dreams.

(4) Never: “Never” is infinite permanence. “Never” robs us of our power of choice for the future. What feels impossible today is assumed to be insurmountable in the future despite changes in circumstance, wisdom, and guts. “Never” tells us that we shouldn’t even try because nothing will we do will make us successful goal-getters.

(5) Maybe: This word is just plain wishy-washy. It means nothing. Neither gutsy enough to say yes or direct enough to say no, “maybe” provides little hope for progress when there has been no definitive commitment. Will I try? Maybe.  Will I give up? Maybe. You know what happens when we stand in the middle of the street.  Our dreams get squashed.

(6) If: This tiny word is full of it. Projection, that is. “If” blames others when things don’t go its way. “If” takes the onus off of itself and lays it like a monkey on someone else’s back. It has the power of negating everything said before it with just one small insertion. It whines and begs for someone else to do the work or just simply, make it happen.

(7) Someday: While this word seems genteel enough, the reality is, it ‘s a snake-oil salesman. It wants to sell you a bill of goods. “Someday” is procrastination in action-there is no commitment, no follow-through, and no progress. “Someday” might trick someone into believing that a day of reckoning will come when it has no real intention. There is no power in someday until someday becomes today.

Many say that actions speak louder than words- but these words defy the rule.  They, in themselves, rob people of the action necessary to achieve their goals and realize their potential.  It’s time to say “yes,” “can,” “will,” and “now” to your hopes and aspirations. It’s time to go the extra mile. Take charge and you will surely see progress and success in 2011. Make this year…the year of achieving your dreams!

What a great article on personal development by Dr. Silverman!

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